Fish, fucking and booze.

The beach was stunning. Shards of light reflecting like a school of hungry fish feeding on the sky. Snowy white sand looking freshly chopped and perfectly cut. Coconut palms swaying with such gay abandon that they forgot completely the need for sustenance, dropping packets of freshly created trees for all to share looking like… like that bloody ball that just bounced off my head. Yes, yes here’s your ball back.


Stoosh

The sun was slowly eating the horizon now. Melting the earth with an incredible power that quite frankly was scary. Slowly, almost without effort he turned over to lie on his back – working on the theory that if you can’t see it maybe it’ll go away. Works for the large fellas with long necks after all. Suddenly he felt a constricting pain shooting through his body. Gut wrenchingly painful - whilst being slightly amusing. The sunset disappeared to be replaced by a sickening blackness. Once snowy white, a quagmire inhabited by scurrying scarab beatles raced to greet him with an abandon.


WISH YOU WERE HERE

He looked around hurriedly for the bar. When. the single greatest problem with the great creation suddenly slapped him around the face. And turning like an optical illusion, his whole perception changed and offended him. Having recently heard of a film called ‘Nemo’ the idea that getting god to change this seemingly basic problem flirted with his imagination. But. Newly found, he knew god was actually more interested in trying to stop people swimming too close to the rocks or in making them drive electric transportation devices. Obviously god understood more than he did so why argue…


Beaucoup Fish

About 3 days later, and several hundred miles away from the last beach, he had the sneaking suspicion that his mission had been successful. Well the Masai pounding in the brain seemed to suggest this at least. No, there wasn’t any doubt. He had found a bar…


AMERICANA

Looking around, again. A beautiful sunset captured his gaze. Somewhat abstractedly his heart once again leap up the waterfall to that wonderful place where he was born. Blanking out all and everything from his limited vision. When. a sudden jolt smashed like a wave with the ferocity of a tiger. In Africa!


daisies of the galaxy

Whilst swimming off in search of another bar, fl1pper wondered if god knew that electric cars would ruin the sunset. Awaking 3 days later, realising that it didn’t matter, he joined the school and promptly started a fight.


HIGHWAY TO HELL

Selling the soul of the feat.

So far you've read, or at least skipped over, exactly one post on this blog (I'm assuming you skipped the other one). And I know what you're thinking. "Hell yes it's difficult to make a decent cocktail at this time of night!". But honestly... what would you rather be doing?

OK so that wasn't what you were thinking, but give it a go anyway.


Performance and Cocktails

The cynical reader is correctly going to assume that this blog is about making money from referrals on the music. You are quite correct and should immediately find some other source of entertainment. Feel free to foreign object.

Now they've gone let's rock!

Electro Glide in Blue

Why pay bucket loads of money for the latest releases when there's a whole universe of stonking music out there you can buy for peanuts? Anything new carries a premium. That makes it better? Bollocks I say! If it doesn't sound good a year after release what's the point of buying the stuff in the first place? (unless you like it of course...)


So much for the city

Don't think - drink. Why get sucked into the idea that this is cool and that isn't? - you, and only you, can decide if something floats your boat. I don't just like this stuff, it's pretty much the only way I have of making sense of (and recalling) my liff. Hairy just doesn't do me justice. I'm not a boy though.


Dog faced boy (Souljacker)

I don't ever want to have to explain myself again OK? To be honest I’m not sure why I felt the need this time. When you're big enough all this is going to turn into play-lists. Mood music for the disaffected rebel with a cause and all that. Remember it's all bollocks apart from the music.


Never Mind the bollocks

Sex, Drugs and Rock n Roll (or why Viagra got popular)

I've spent many a year wishing I was a rock star, but not necessarily wanting to be. I buy lottery tickets, enter competitions, and occasionally write daft stories. What for? Just to have something to say in the bar really. Obviously winning a couple of million wouldn't be too much of a hardship. Would it? Winning a Ferrari Stradale might not be a great problem. Do you think? Writing daft stories...err where was I?


Back to the rnr...(tenuous!)

I'm going to buy a guitar one day. This is inevitable. It's also a forgone conclusion that I'll be a pain in the ears to all around me for a while when learning to play the damn thing (a weekend will probably do!) But to me this will be just like buying the lottery ticket. Not checking the ticket can fill you with an incredible excitement - it's only a loser when you check the numbers. Did anyone ever tell the boy bands that they couldn't sing? How the fuck am I meant to check my obvious new talent?


Sitting on the dock of the bay

Picture the scene. There's this bloke at a party - for the sake of clarity we'll call him me from now on. I've had a couple of drinks, wandering around with a large hand rolled cigarette in one hand. Stratocaster in the other. What's going to happen next? The range of scenarios, from rock god to Animal House staircase scene are frightening. Is this a ticket I want to check?


You gotta fight, for the right to...

Basically what I'm trying to figure out myself is - should I be buying the tickets in the first place!?! What happens to my little happy life if I do win? Yeh I won't be scrounging around borrowing and begging but fuck mate... could I handle the responsibility? I'd probably end up surrounded by recreationally happy borrowers and beggars with picture in the paper (holding aforementioned cigarette), wife suing for divorce, mother in tears etc.etc. And why? Would it be because I had changed?


The harder they come, the harder they fall...

Nowadays people spit out common sayings two a penny without thinking about them (I blame the media sluts for dumbing it down). When you hear "Be careful what you wish for, it may just come true". Monkey think! There's a lot of clever stuff hidden behind these casual phrases - we've just forgotten to actually listen to the words. Anyone thinking grasshoppers at the moment? Smokin'...


Cigarettes & Alchohol...

And then there was...

It’s always a trauma getting started. Some people really never do… This is the story of one of them.

Listen to the drums.


DECKSANDRUMSANDROCKANDROLL